Passover? I'll Pass.

Passover starts Monday night. I've probably hosted the family seder 9 out of the last 10 years. On the years I don't host a family seder, I usually host a second seder. This year I just can't do it. I hate that it's become expected of me. I feel put out that my brother and sister-in-law, who live in town, have never hosted the family seder. I feel that my mom shouldn't have to do it at her age -- she's done it enough! By the time extra "homeless" families are added in, the number of guests can reach into the twenties. Last year, my brother invited an additional family of five the day before the seder!

I used to get excited to host the seder. We own at least two complete sets of haggadahs, each set purchased after painstaking research and testing. We own 12 "plague bags." I love the Passover story! I really get into it and used to love to host the seder. Last year, I think, was the last straw.

I just cannot handle the rudeness of my brother and his sons laughing and joking throughout the seder. Continual moans of "can we eat yet?" "why do we have to do the whole thing?" and cheating with regard to finding the affikoman. It's too much. Preparing for the seder involves much, much more than serving dinner. It's a ceremonial experience. There are ceremonial foods, the table is presented in a certain way, there is an ORDER to it all.

So, this year I was not excited. I felt like it was a chore that was thrust upon me. My house is a mess and I have made no effort to clean it. I have not yet scrubbed my counters or cleaned my oven. I haven't disposed of or sold my chametz. My running schedule is intense, but if I was into it I wouldn't have a problem with seder. If I felt it was appreciated, I would be happy to clean my house and host Passover seder.

I called my mom two days ago and told her I couldn't do it. I didn't have it in me. I'm happy to bring over everything, but I cannot have the seder here.

Thanks, but this year, I'll pass.